I come from a land where retailers do their biggest business when others are not working, and food can be purchased 24 hours a day, every day. So, one of the biggest culture shocks for me was discovering that French retailers are closed during lunch, on Sundays and all holidays. Luckily, there were two markets within a five minute walk from my apartment which were open on Sundays, including Marché Plus, pictured (my scribbled additions in purple, lower right).With my current "job" (in quotes because the company is unfunded and I work from home without pay in hopes it will be funded) the largest problem with the store hours issue was remembering the day of the week and holidays. Thus, when I complained to my significant other, he granted nothing resembling sympathy! Yes, he was right, I just needed to adjust to the system.
But I can also see how the system was built for those who have someone to call on, for partnerships where one partner manages the domestic realm while the other is out earning a living. It was not built for those like me. When I need something, the only one I have to call for help is myself, and handling little issues that can pop up unexpectedly would have been difficult if I had a standard office job.
I appreciate the mobility the path I have chosen has afforded me and am grateful for having met wonderful people. But I also envy those who have a partner to come home to, someone with whom not only duties can be shared, but also little things that create happy memories -- walks, talks, dorky games, or just quietly enjoying each-others' company. Sometimes I wonder if the system is right and I have chosen the wrong path, but even if that were true, I have depended solely on myself my entire adult life. It would be very difficult to switch, now.
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Hm, I almost thought one of the most important things in my life to be independent, to be able to do everything by my own, to need nobody's help. I assume sometimes I am getting on the nerves of some people with this attitude ;-).
ReplyDeleteIt's not so long ago that in Germany shops closed at 18.30hrs weekdays and around 13hrs on Saturday. Shopping was a nightmare (okay for me it's a nightmare nevertheless but it is a lot more unstressful to get your food nowadays, ;-))
I think we are encouraged (pressured?) much more strongly than we were in the past to be self-reliant. I know that for me, sometimes it is difficult to find the right balance between self-sufficiency and cooperation. Plus, I think I am reaching an age where sharing is becoming more important.
ReplyDeleteAs for actually shopping, people in Lorraine are generally polite and helpful, so the experience is relatively pleasant for me.
I prefer "encouraged" - just thinking of an Egyptian friend of mine who never understood "why we "western" women are living with so much stress where instead we could live without much to do, having a husband who makes all the money ... ". ;-)
ReplyDeleteHaha, I doubt they meant to do this, but my parents instilled a healthy fear of marriage in me, particularly the stay-at-home-wife type of marriage. They liked to point out how people "these days" rush into marriage for bad reasons, have messy divorces, and end up bitter at the world and in financial ruin. Better to be able to support yourself than rely on someone who may be long gone in 20 years (asians tend to focus on negative aspects of situations)! That said, they had a healthy marriage themselves and were together until the day mom had a heart attack and died in dad's arms.
ReplyDeleteThis is a little bit spooky right now ... exactly like my parents raised me, but I am not so sure about their motivation - surely not an Asian focus on negative aspects in life, ;-). Hm.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your mom :-(.
Thanks, Martina. She was young at the time, 66, but I am glad she did not suffer. She just thought she had a back ache.
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